Men: Silly Creatures

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Men: Silly Creatures

Post  Greeny on Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:33 pm

If Men Got Pregnant:
1. Maternity leave would last two years....with full pay.
2. There would be a cure for stretch marks.
3. Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
4. Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.
5. All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.
6. Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.
7. Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
8. They wouldn't think twins were so cute.
9. Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM.
10. Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.
11. Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.
12. They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.
13. Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entree's.
14. Women would rule the world.
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Real Man.

Post  Greeny on Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:38 pm

A new two year degree is being offered at LIFE UNIVERSITY that many of you should be interested in: BECOMING A REAL MAN. That's right, in just six quarters you, too, can be a real man, as well as earn an AA degree (AA Real Men). Please take a moment to look over the program outline.
FIRST YEAR

Autumn Schedule

MEN 101 Combating Stupidity

MEN 102 You Too Can Do Housework

MEN 103 PMS - Learn When To Keep Your Mouth Shut

MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings For Christmas


Winter Schedule

MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques

MEN 111 Understanding The Female Response to Getting In At 4AM

MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End With Conception

EAT 100 Get A Life, Learn To Cook

ECON 001A What's Hers Is Hers


Spring Schedule

MEN 120 How NOT To Act Like An Asshole When You're Wrong

MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence

MEN 122 YOU, The Weaker Sex

MEN 123 Reasons To Give Flowers

ECON 001B What's Yours Is Half Hers (Must Pass ECON 001A)


SECOND YEAR

Autumn Schedule

SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep Without It

SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower

MEN 201 How To Stay Awake After Sex

MEN 202 How To Put The Toilet Seat Down

ELECTIVE (See Electives Below)

Winter Schedule

MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

MEN 211 How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children

MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be A Designated Driver

MEN 213 Honest - You Don't Look Like Denzel Washington - Especially Naked

MEN 230A Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 1


Spring Schedule

MEN 220 Omitting @&*%$#* From Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)

MEN 221 Fluffing The Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary

MEN 222 Real Men Ask For Directions

MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging Is NOT Considered Foreplay

MEN 230B Her Birthdays And Anniversaries Are Important 2


Course Electives

EAT 101 Cooking With Quiche

EAT 102 Utilization of Eating Utensils

EAT 103 Burping And Belching Discreetly

MEN 231 Mother-in-Law

MEN 232 Appear To Be Listening

MEN 233 Just Say, Yes Dear

ECON 001C Cheaper To Keep Her (Must Pass ECON 001B)
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Greeny
Empress

Number of posts : 57
Age : 31
Registration date : 2009-03-09

Character Sheet
Health Points:
25/100  (25/100)
Helping Value:
5/100  (5/100)

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